AMERICAN IDOL: The Movie

Another

IDOL GOES CINEMATASTIC!

Event

No, I'm not typing in 3-D, but that would be cool wouldn't it?

The Idols go to the movies with songs from the movies.
Here is a list of the movies they gleaned from:

• Caddyshack
• the Graduate
• Once
• Free Willy
• Don Juan DeMarco
• Batman Forever

Not one selection from the Gold Rush or The Great Train Robbery.

Act I
Scene I

(Lee enters stage.  Gestures to mentor Jamie Foxx.  Jamie Foxx makes an obscene gesture to Lee.  Lee cries.)

Lee:  I'd like to perform a song for you tonight, called "Kiss By a Rose" by Seal.  This song means a lot to me.  I remember watching Batman Forever at the Parkway Multiplex in Akron, and this song came on while Batman and Robin were holding hands sliding down the BatPole, and that is when I decided that I did not want to be Batman.

 Act I
Scene II

(Casey comes out, sits on an extension of the stage among a few well placed young girls holding his mandolin.  That was not supposed to be an innuendo.  Casey has his hair down.  He looks exactly like a blond Eddie Vedder.   Then Casey sings, "Mrs.Robinson"  by Simon and Garfunkel.  Garfunkel is happy, Simon is not amused).

Casey: I remember when I first saw this movie.  I felt really bad for the guy who Elaine left at the Alter.  I mean, she left him for Dustin Hoffman.  I hate it when the pretty guys lose out to the nerds.

Act I
Scene III

(Mike approaches Ryan Seacrest.  While Ryan begins to announce Mike's name, it is too late for him to realize that Big Mike has grabbed him by his neck and suddenly twists his head off.  Ryan's noggin falls to the ground causing Ellen to dance while Simon gives a standing O and is clearly smiling  It's a slight absurd but the whole scene keeps Randy quite silent for once.  Kara just claps.  Mike leaves the stage.)

Act I
Scene IV

(Crystal Bowersox removes her lip ring and inserts it into the exposed neck of the dead Ryan Seacrest)

Crystal: I'd like to dedicate this next song to my friend and yours Ryan. 

(audience agrees and claps)

Crystal: Thank you for coming out tonight.  You've been a great audience. 

Act II
Scene I
(Crystal and Lee are on the stage in the foreground.  They are staring at each other, Lee stage LEFT.  Their 2 microphone stands are between them.   Guitars in hand.  Ryan's body has been cleared from the area.  Jamie Foxx is glaring at both singers.)

Lee: If you love this song, I picked it.  If you didn't then Crystal did.

Crystal:  Geez...another man that can't commit to anything.

Act II
Scene II
(Casey and Mike are looking out at the crowd)

Casey (to Mike): Upon the king! let us our lives, our souls,
Our debts, our careful wives,
Our children and our sins lay on the king!
We must bear all.

Mike:  Now the hungry lion roars,
And the wolf behowls the moon;
Whilst the heavy ploughman snores,
All with weary task fordone.

Casey: Thus answer I in name of Bendick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
'Tis certain so; -- the prince woos for himself.

Mike: I hear that, boyfriend.

(Casey chuckles.  Exit Mike, exit Casey)

(Casey, Mike, Crystal and Lee come out for bows.  Mike raises Ryan's bloody head easily with his right hand.  They all bow in unison)

THE END