She's the Canadian Idol

This is the first post exclusively newly written for the Web.

Notice any differences?  No?  I’m now using spell checker.

      We are down to the Top 6.  Or up to the Bottom 6.  Either way, these 6 students of song are lucky enough to be mentored by one of the finest singer-songwriters in the biz….Shania Twain.

Shania (which is Yiddish for I didn’t do it, but even if I did, why should I tell you), makes her second appearance on Idol this season.  First time sitting in for Ellen at the pre-Hollywood auditions, and now as the author of the Songbook being performed tonight.

Just for the record, Shania has sold more records than Alicia Keys, Melissa Ethridge, Gloria Estefan, and the cast of GLEE combined. 

       Not bad for a Canadian chick who’s real name is Eileen and who was married to some guy named Mutt.

Speaking of Mutts…side note:  The Mets are in first place on April 28^th.  How the heck did that happen? 

I for one blame global warming.

So here we have the final 6.  Ryan announces that one was in Paint sales, one was in construction, one is a mother, one a father, one a glass blower and one is a high schooler.

If that were me on the stage, I’d like my occupation to be listed as gold digger. 

Up first, Lee, sets the canvas.

       Singing, “You’re Still The One”, Lee creates broad strokes, and in the beginning it was hard to imagine where he was going, but taking a step back you could appreciate what he accomplished on his Palette.   He reminded me of a young Gavin DeGraw mixed with a shade of Couillet.  Bravo, Bravo Mr. Lee.  To paraphrase this tune, “Looks like Lee made it…look how far he’s come baby.”

            If that made no sense to you, then you could appreciate what I was hearing when the Far-reaching 4 finished judging him.

      “It only hurts when I’m breathing” is something Ryan Seacrest said when Big Mike fell on top of him.  It is also the song that Mike picked.  The Judges compared him to Luther, and I think he is more Maxwell or Sylvester…but either way…American Idol has already had a very large Teddy Bear win this competition.  Ruben is a wonderful performer, but his sales have been less than impressive.  Big Mike ain’t winning this. 

            I liked seeing the camera cut to Shania watching in the audience.  She kinda a nerdy, goofy girl who doesn’t see how amazing she is.  It’s kind of refreshing.  Unlike when Michael Buble came out a few years ago and declared that he was the next Diana Ross.

Casey James and Shania Twain sing a brief duet during rehearsals for “Don’t!” and suddenly I can hear Casey having a future in the music business, and not just as a cabana boy.  His solo spot tonight is his best performance ever.  And the best thing is that he and Shania have the exact same hair stylist.  

Unlike Casey, Crystal has been firmly established in my head as an artist and unlike Casey, Crystal has her worst performance of the season.  The rhythm and the arrangement was off.  Plus Crystal has to realize that like Shania and other female country artists, a male background singer is better than a female one.

Crystal said she was trying to coax her long, long time boyfriend into marrying her.  The boy, who was in the front row, was wearing a ridiculous T-shirt that read,

“Crystal Bowersox, 
will you marry me if you win this competition,

and can I keep

my last name, Meth?”

Like Casey, Aaron has his best performance.  I was imagining as he sat on stage on a stool, that he was singing “You’ve got a way” to some pretend 16 year old soul mate with blonde hair and perfect skin, as he impresses her with his talent.   That image is shattered as Aaron says he was singing to his mom.  Ick and eww….except that Aaron’s mom is cute. 

Siobhan’s version of “Any man of mine” wasn’t as good as Simon, Kara, et al suggest but it wasn’t bad either.  “Any man of mine” is one of those songs that if any woman is shouting it out then any guy in the room should pick up their pants and slink out of the room.  It’s a perfect song for girls to put their men in their places.  It’s also the song that men should take as a signal to run as fast and far as their boots will allow.

Vote on the upper right of your screen to register who you think is going home next….

My choice… Big Mike takes the first Twain out of Clarksville.


If I'm wrong and someone else goes home...well, my Yiddish friend...Shania!